Silent Tears
by Puzzler
Summary: Movieverse story. After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU. Please R & R
1. Chapter 1 Snow

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

Notes – **This story is based on the Thunderbirds Film, not the puppet series.** In this story, Jeff Tracy left the Space Agency soon after Virgil was born (1990) and set up a company called Tracy Industries, which has grown to be a multi-national company in the space of about 10 years. This has made Jeff one of the richest men in the world, and will eventually enable him to set up and run International Rescue.

Setting (at the start of the story) – July (summer holidays) 2000 – about 10 years before film

Ages/Birthdays (I thought I'd better tell you first what ages I am using before anyone gets too confused). These are right for when the story starts, and I'll have to change them if there are any 'time jumps'.

John is 13 – 8th October 1986

Scott is 12 – 4th April 1988

Virgil is 9 (very nearly 10) – 15th August 1990

Gordon is 8 – 14th February 1992

Alan is 4 – 12th March 1996

A/N – I am writing this to avoid reviews saying 'Scott is the oldest'

I KNOW that in the puppet series, Scott is definitely the oldest, and I have already written another story based on that (Accidents). However, this story is based on the movie and I have read two official books on the movie and they couldn't agree on the order of the brother's ages. I think John 'acts' older than Scott in the movie, so in my story, John IS older.

I'm sorry if that annoys you, but that is what I am using for my story.

Silent Tears

Chapter 1 – Snow 

A holiday log cabin, Switzerland, July 2000

"Virgil! Help make snowman!" 4-year-old Alan 'demanded' of his older brother. Virgil looked over to his father, but he was talking with his mother, John and Scott.

"Alright Alan. Gordon, do you want to make a snowman with us?"

"Another one!" 8-year-old Gordon exclaimed, looking around the cabin at the group of snowmen already made over the last few days. "OK, I'm in."

Alan was happily chattering away to Virgil when Gordon caught up with them. "How many snowmen do you want to have built before we go home Alan?"

Alan stopped, looking thoughtful. "Army of snowmen!" He said, spreading his arms wide.

"We won't have enough hats and scarves for that many Alan." Virgil said jokingly.

FABFAB

"Are you sure about this Jeff? It is supposed to be a holiday for you as well." Lucille said, clearly at the end of their conversation

"Go on, have some fun. You are a more experienced skier that the rest of us. I'll handle this lot for a few hours." Jeff answered, gesturing towards the rest of his sons.

"Alright Jeff. I'll be on the main ski slope if you need me for anything."

"Go on." Jeff said encouragingly. Lucille started to walk back to the cabin to get her skis when John caught up with her.

"Can I come and watch you mum?"

"OK, but make sure you tell your father where you're going first."

"Dad, please." Scott begged, "I won't be too long."

"That's what you said yesterday Scott and you ended up being late for dinner. The point of coming here for a holiday was to have fun outside and with the rest of us, not in a video arcade."

"But I do enjoy it. I'll try not to spend all my money."

"Fine, but I want you back here in 2 hours."

"Thanks dad." Scott ran off down the snow-covered hill towards a larger group of cabins. Virgil, Alan and Gordon had already started on their snowman.

"You want some help over there boys?" Jeff called once he was alone.

"Please dad. I think Alan wants this one to be the largest one yet."

FABFAB

"Mum, how long have you known how to ski?" John asked as he walked beside his mother towards the main ski slope. "I'm not very good at it."

"It takes practice John. Give yourself time to learn. And, as you asked, I went on a skiing trip in high school; it was about the only sport I really got involved in. I guess I've liked the sport ever since."

"At least it's better than some of the sports Scott keeps pulling me into. I don't know how many bruises I had after he roped me into playing football with some of his friends a while ago."

"You're not a person who goes in for sports and Scott knows that. You're too much like me for that, perfectly happy with a good book and some peace and quiet."

"Strange." John said thoughtfully. "Everyone usually compares me to dad, always at my telescope. I wish I could go up there, like he did."

"Nothing could pull you away from the stars John. You were born to be an astronaut, like your father." Lucille said, turning to her eldest son.

"I know, but Gordon wouldn't like the idea." John said with a laugh, changing the subject.

"Gordon is far more at home in the water than anything else, even if I don't know where he gets it from. Come on, let's go have some fun." Lucille and John finished their walk to the slopes in thoughtful silence.

"I'm going to find a good seat to watch." John said, pointing towards the sheltered seats on one side of the slope.

"Alright. I'll meet you when I come back up." Lucille knelt down to strap on her skis, and then was off.

John watched from his seat as his mother expertly navigated the slopes and flags of the course, never loosing her concentration or her smile. She didn't try to go as fast as some of the other skiers, or show off with extravagant stunts, but how much she enjoyed it was evident on her face all the way down. When she reached the bottom and then walked towards the ski lift to bring her back up, John almost jumped from his seat to go and meet her.

"What did you think of it John?" Lucille said as she climbed off the ski lift and walked to where John was standing, beaming at her.

"It was wonderful! You always seem so happy when you're on the slopes."

"With practice, you'll know how it feels too."

"I don't think so. You seem so graceful, avoiding all the flags and other skiers and…"

"Yes, well, you can tell your brothers all about it when we get back to the cabin."

"So soon? Can't you show me once more, mum, please?" John smiled at her, trying to look very innocent.

"Alright, but only because it was you who asked." The stern look on her face quickly melted into a warm smile. "You really do amaze me sometimes John. You do so much for your brothers, but rarely ever ask for anything in return. I guess that's what comes from being the eldest and very reliable." She looked at him and saw the huge smile on his face. "Go find your seat again."

"OK."

Lucille went back to the top of the slope and took off, just as graceful as ever. Gradually, the skiers around her got more edgy and she looked anxiously over her shoulder. A slight trembling could be felt through the ground and a roar was building from the top of the slope. Within the next 30 seconds, everyone could see the vague outline of tons of snow coming down from the mountainside.

The whole area erupted into chaos. Skiers on the slopes were frantically trying to reach the bottom or some kind of shelter before the sheer force of snow caught up with them, yet many still fell. Spectators looked on, horrified, knowing that there was nothing that could be done to stop the sheer force of nature. Lucille raced towards a large boulder on the slope that several skiers were already hiding behind, hoping it would protect them, but as she closed the distance, a shard of wood broken from the ski of one of the skiers behind her embedded itself sharply in her back and threw her off-balance into the snow. John could only watch, horrified and frozen, from the spectator stands as she was covered by the force of the avalanche.

There were a few moments of silence before everyone realised what had happened. Spectators and resort personnel started streaming onto the now still slopes hoping to find survivors, the few medical staff on hand fighting to try to keep everyone safe and calm. John ran, practically falling through the snow, towards the place where he had last seen his mother, the top of the boulder could just be seen above the new layer of snow. He dreaded what he might find and what could happen to his family if she was now lost to them.

Movement in the area he was heading to raised his hopes, but it turned out to be two of the skiers who had managed to reach the boulder in time. They saw the look on John's face as he approached and quickly helped try to find Lucille in the snow.

When John found her he could hardly stop himself from crying. She looked so peaceful, except for the jagged wound in her back that was quickly staining the snow beneath her. John reached out a tentative hand and touched her long, light brown-blond hair.

Lucille opened her eyes as she felt someone touch her, and slowly touched John's face with a pale hand as he knelt next to her. "John…I had hoped you would never have to see something like this." She whispered weakly, finding it difficult to talk at all.

"Mum, don't talk like that. We'll get you out of here." John pleaded, tears now falling down his cheeks and over Lucille's hand. One of the skiers next to him quickly left to try to find help.

"Don't give in. I need you to be strong, to be there for your brothers, as you always have. Don't ever change John."

"Please mum, we need you. You can't leave us."

"Promise me, John…that you'll be there for your brothers."

"I…I promise, but I don't know if we can go on without you."

"You will survive, I know you will. You have to stick together, be there…for each other. I love you all, my son…" her voice trailed off as her eyes closed, leaving a slight smile on her face that she knew her family would continue on without her. John collapsed into the snow, not being able to believe that she was really gone. The remaining skier near him was left to look on hopelessly.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2 Chaos

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – I am writing this AGAIN to avoid any more reviews saying 'Scott is the oldest' – they are getting a little annoying, and some people obviously didn't read the note last time.

I KNOW that in the puppet series, Scott is definitely the oldest, and I have already written another story based on that (Accidents). However, this story is based on the movie and I have read two official books on the movie and they couldn't agree on the order of the brother's ages. I think John 'acts' older than Scott in the movie, so in my story, John IS older.

I'm sorry if that annoys you, but that is what I am using for my story.

A/N 2 – Here you go, next chapter up! Thank you for all the reviews (even if some of them were not particularly helpful). I will warn you that the next few chapters are understandably not very 'happy', but please bear with me. ENJOY!

Silent Tears 

Chapter 2 – Chaos

"Dad! Dad!" Jeff looked from where he was just helping his younger sons finish their snowman to see Scott running up towards him. Scott skidded to a stop beside him. "Dad, you've got to come. There's been an accident. There were loads of people on stretchers and…"

"Scott, please. Slow down." Jeff pulled him away from the others. "Now, tell me what happened."

"I…I had gone to the café to meet up with one of my friends, when one of the managers came in and told everyone to leave as they needed the room for the injured. When we left I saw dozens of paramedics coming, carrying stretchers." Scott looked up at his father again. "Whatever happened, it was bad."

"Alright. Scott, stay here and look after your brothers. I'm going to see if I can help in any way with the injured."

"But dad…"

"I need you here Scott." Jeff interrupted sharply, before seeing the slightly lost look on Scott's face. "I know you can do this for me. Just…get them inside somehow. I shouldn't be too long." Jeff quickly strode off in the direction Scott had come from. Scott watched him go. He didn't know why, but something felt very wrong.

He noticed Virgil watching him curiously, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Virgil, Gordon, Alan. Let's say we go inside and watch a film. Dad's had to go somewhere for a while."

"What film Scott?" Alan asked, now completely covered in one of Virgil's scarves, which was far too big for him, to avoid him catching a cold.

"You can choose."

FABFAB

As soon as Jeff walked into the communal dining area, he was hit by barely controlled chaos. Voices were shouting orders from all directions, and all the tables had been taken over by medical supplies or the injured.

"I'm sorry sir, but we're in the middle of a crisis here. I suggest you go back to your cabin." One of the resort staff said as she passed, carrying several thermal blankets.

"I'm here to help. What can I do?"

"Volunteers are always welcome. Do you have any sort of medical training?"

"Advanced first aid training."

"Then you can help out treating some of the minor injuries. Most of the doctors and paramedics on site are busy treating those more seriously injured. Go through into the next room on the left." She quickly walked off, handing someone else the blankets when she reached the other side of the room.

Jeff walked through a second set of double doors to the next room. It was quieter and less crowded in here, with several young children.

"Can I help?" Jeff asked one of only two medical personnel in the room. The other was trying to calm a very agitated 7-year-old.

"Sure. Here." She handed him a first aid kit.

Jeff started treating an older woman with a broken wrist, which she had gotten when she fell. "What happened here anyway?" Jeff asked as he finished tying off the bandage.

"There was an avalanche." The doctor answered simply. Jeff looked up, surprised.

"I thought there were systems in place to prevent, or at least detect possible avalanches and give advance warning."

"Supposedly, but they didn't work today." The doctor turned back to what she was doing. "I'm just glad it didn't happen during the busier time of the day, or there could have been a lot more casualties. The ski slope would have been far more crowded."

Jeff's face turned from concern to horror. "It was on the ski slope?"

The doctor looked up again, noticing the change in Jeff's voice. "Yes, why?"

There was silence between them. The doctor quickly realised that something was wrong. "Someone you knew was on the slope today, weren't they?"

"My wife and son." Jeff answered, not really paying much attention. He was lost in the memory of seeing them walking off together, Lucille carrying her skis. The doctor hesitated for a moment, before standing up and gently pulling Jeff to his feet.

"Go and find out where they are. You need to." Jeff looked as if he was going to object. "No, please go. I know you want to help but you will not do anyone any good if you stay here worrying about them."

"Alright. Thank you."

"The relatives' area is the other side of the main hall. I really hope you find them." Jeff walked out of the room to find the rest of his family.

FABFAB

"Scott, where's mum?" Alan whined when they had finished watching 'The Lion King'. They had started watching it two days before when Jeff had taken Lucille out for a surprise romantic dinner, leaving John and Scott in charge at the cabin, but Alan had fallen asleep partway through. Alan had now insisted that they finish it. Virgil and Gordon had gotten bored quickly and gone into their bedroom to play something.

"I'm sure she'll be back soon. She's probably just helping out with dad."

"But I'm bored. I want mum!" Alan shouted, trying to get away from Scott and towards the door.

"Alan, please…" Scott tried to calm his frantic brother down, and failed dismally. "Virgil, Gordon, some help here" he called into the next room.

"What is it Scott?" Gordon asked, before Alan finally freed himself from Scott, who was doing his best not to hurt his little brother, and made a dash for the door, which was locked, just as Jeff had insisted whenever the children were alone. "Hey, calm down Alan. What's the matter?"

"I want mum!"

"She'll be back in a minute." Virgil answered quickly. Alan looked ready to argue again, and a smile crept onto Virgil's face as he knelt down next to him. "Are you hungry? I think mum put some chocolate biscuits in the cupboard…"

"Cocolate!" Alan cried happily, following Virgil into the kitchen area, his previous argument completely forgotten.

"That works every time." Scott said conspiratorially to Gordon, who smiled.

FABFAB

"Excuse me sir, this area is for families only…" A young, blonde orderly said as Jeff came in the door. She stopped at the slightly distraught look on his face.

"I'm looking for my wife and son."

"Of course. Your name?" she asked, looking down at the list of names on her clipboard.

"Jeff Tracy."

"As in Tracy Industries?" she looked up again, surprised.

"Yes."

"I haven't got any Tracy's on this list, so it's likely that they're in one of the other rooms. If you stay here, I'll see what I can find out."

"Thank you."

Jeff moved towards the seating area while the orderly walked back out the door. She enquired in several rooms before moving into another waiting room.

"Please, I have to go." A voice cried desperately from the far corner of the crowded room, where someone was fighting to escape one of the volunteer first-aiders.

"Young man, you have suffered a serious shock and have slight hypothermia. You should try and take it easy…"

"No! I have to find my father and brothers, they don't know what's happened…" Silent tears continued to stream down John's face as he collapsed back into his chair, drained. The orderly used this lull to get into the conversation.

"Excuse me, are you Mr Tracy?" She asked John.

"Yes."

"My name is Jenni Alnor, I've been trying to help locate missing family members. Your father is here. He is looking for you." She had barely finished her sentence before John was back on his feet again.

"I have to go to him, please." John almost begged the first-aider still trying to hold him back.

The first-aider hesitated a moment before letting go "Alright, I can't stop you now. But please take it easy for a while." John nodded slightly, then turned to Jenni, his eyes almost demanding her to show him the way.

FABFAB

"What did you find?" Jeff asked as soon as Jenni walked through the door, with John slightly behind her. As he had got closer, John began to feel nervous about facing his father: he would have to be the one to tell him what had happened.

Jenni didn't answer, and merely moved out of the way so father and son could have some time alone.

"John, thank goodness, I feared the worst." Jeff exclaimed as he engulfed his eldest son in a hug, not noticing the tears on his face. His relief quickly faded to dread when he realised who wasn't there. "Where's your mother?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer.

John buried his head against Jeff's shoulder, his words muffled. "She…she was caught in the avalanche." He said amid tears. "She's gone."

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3 Realisation

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – I know John seems different in this chapter than the last one, but he realised that he had to be strong for his brothers, as this is what Lucille said to him before she died. I also know that it may seem that John acts older than 13 in this story, but he does have 4 younger brothers, and has probably had to grow up rather fast. Eventually, all of this may catch up to him. I hope you enjoy.

Note – writing in _italics_ indicates a character's thoughts, and also anything written down eg, a letter.

A/N 2 – When I was stuck on a part of my last story, I decided to design a front cover for it as if it were to be published. I have now done this for this story as well. They are not brilliantly artistic, but if you would like to see any of them, then ask and I will do my best to send them in an email.

A BIG THANKYOU for all the reviews, and please enjoy this next chapter!

Silent Tears 

Chapter 3 – Realisation

"No, she can't be…" Virgil said again, jumping to his feet, tears streaming down his face. "I know she…"

"Virgil, please…" Jeff begged his son, unable to stop himself crying as well. Jeff had known it would be hard to tell his younger sons of their mother's death…it had been hard enough to hear it himself, but there was nothing he could really do to help them. "We have to be strong, for her."

"NO! You're lying! She's not gone!" Virgil shouted and practically ran out the cabin door into the snow. Gordon, sitting on the other side of the room, almost looked ready to follow him out.

"I'll find him." John offered quietly, barely holding back tears himself, and getting down off the worktop he had been sitting on. He turned to his father. "They need you here."

There was a long silence after John left – Jeff, Scott and Gordon were all lost in their own thoughts. A few seconds later, the quiet was broken by a soft thump followed by muffled crying from the bedroom. Alan, who had been asleep when Jeff and John had come back, had dropped something out of his bed.

"Alan is never going to understand."

FABFAB

"Virgil! Virgil, come out if you can hear me!" John called, following the vague path Virgil had left in the snow.

"Go away John. I'm not listening to you."

"Virgil, please…" this time, there was no answer. "Look. I know you are upset, but I'm your brother. I want to help you."

"I want mum." Virgil said, slowly coming out from behind the shed that was hiding him.

"I know Virgil. I miss her too. We all do." John knelt down where Virgil had collapsed down into the snow, shivering from cold and loss. "It's not going to be easy, but she wanted us to carry on and not give up. Do you think you can do that?"

Virgil nodded, wiped away some of the tears on his face and started to stand up. _She wanted us to carry on._ "You sound like her John."

_I do?_ John thought as he started to lead his brother back to their cabin. "Let's get back before you catch a cold."

They had been walking for about a minute before the silence was broken again "John, I don't think I can go on without her."

FABFAB

A week later – back at home

"Alan, you need to get to bed now." John said quietly, leading him back to his own bed in the room he shared with John. The others didn't know how he put up with sharing with Alan, but Scott, Virgil and Gordon all shared the larger room, and so didn't complain. Lucille had always said that it would bring them closer as a family if they shared rather than had separate rooms. John had already shared with both Virgil and Gordon at different points, and was now used to having one of his brothers with him.

"No, I want mummy to tell me a story." Alan cried, reluctantly climbing under the covers.

John looked down to the floor before looking back at Alan. "Mummy's not here anymore. Can I tell you a story instead?"

"OK." Alan said, lying down.

"Right. A long time ago, there was a little prince who was a long way from home…"

FABFAB

Jeff was walking down the hallway, desperately trying not to think about the dreams that had been plaguing him or how lonely it seemed in the house without Lucille around when he heard his eldest son's voice.

"Strange. I thought he'd gone to bed hours ago." Jeff murmured, heading towards the voice coming from Alan's bedroom.

"…now that all the evil people were gone, the little prince was able to return home to his family and live in peace."

Jeff pushed open the door to see John sitting on the edge of Alan's bed. "Alan couldn't sleep?"

"Oh, dad, I didn't hear you." John exclaimed, jumping up. He looked back down at Alan, checking he was still asleep. "No, he couldn't, he wanted mum to tell him a bedtime story. We've tried to tell him she's not coming back, but he's too young to understand…"

"I know. He keeps reminding us of what she was like, and we should be grateful for that."

"That reminds me of something else. The funeral on Sunday, Gordon and Virgil have asked if we might be able to say a few words…to say goodbye…"

"If you feel it will help…" Jeff stopped him from having to explain. "Then of course you can."

"Good. I'll tell them tomorrow. Good night dad."

FABFAB

_Where is it? I'm sure it was here a few weeks ago._ John thought, rummaging through a box from under his bed. It was the third box he had gone through that morning. Scott had offered to help him look earlier after he had told him about saying something at the funeral, but John had refused, thinking that this was something he didn't really want his brothers knowing about.

_I know I left it around here somewhere._ John added, putting the box back and thinking that maybe he had managed to lose it since his last birthday.

"Finally, found it." he exclaimed a few minutes later, pulling out a dusty book from the bottom of his wardrobe. It was a dark red leather book with a gold lock on one side, and the word 'Thoughts' written in gold on the front. Lucille had given it to John as a special diary for him to keep the year before, but he had never got round to starting it.

John sat down on his bed, and picked up the key that he had found in his desk drawer. The key fitted the small lock perfectly. He opened up to the second page, leaving one blank, and started writing:

_I feel I have to have someone to talk to about what has happened to our family, so that's why I'm starting this diary._

_In these pages is someone I can confide in. Someone I don't have to explain myself to. Able to tell my greatest secrets and fears. To be my friend in this dark time…_

_I know I cannot give in. I promised myself…I promised mum, that I would be strong for my brothers and help them through this._

_It's just so hard. That bedtime story I read to Alan yesterday…what happened to our 'happily ever after'?_

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4 Remembrance

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – I AM SO SORRY FOR THE HUGE GAP BETWEEN CHAPTERS! I had difficulty writing this chapter and trying to make it seem realistic. Oh dear, that sounded like an excuse. Again, I am very sorry, and thank you for sticking with me. I will do my best to keep breaks between chapters shorter in future. Please enjoy this latest section, and any comments or ideas you have would be very welcome.

Silent Tears 

Chapter 4 – Remembrance

The church was full with all the friends and colleagues Lucille had had an impact on. The brothers sat with their father and grandmother at the front, tears running down their faces and trying to stay strong. The only sound was the soft voice of the priest.

"Now, before we go into the last hymn," the priest announced to the silent congregation, "I know the family have a few words they wish to say…"

Jeff slowly stood up, carrying Alan, followed by all his other sons, and walked towards the podium. All eyes gazed at them, filled with sadness and comfort.

"I…I don't have the words to describe Lucille. Everything I think of doesn't seem to be enough to do her justice. The years I spent with her were some of the happiest of my life and I will now try to continue to raise our sons the way she would have wished. We will always carry lots of happy memories of our time with her, and we would like to share some of those with you now." Jeff paused to collect his thoughts.

"The first time I met Lucille was in college. I had been studying engineering for a year, while she had just started a literature course. The college cafeteria was full, and we ended up at the same table. I knew there was something about her, something loving and gentle. I think I loved her from that moment on, and always will."

After a moment of silence, Jeff moved back away from the podium and John stepped forward.

"As a tribute to our mother and all she has done for us, we as her sons wanted to remember a time that was special to us. We have each written a short message, and we hope she gets them." John stopped and opened a folded up piece of paper.

"Alan doesn't really know what's happening, and I know he still believes our mother to be alive. When asked what he liked best about mum, he said _'Thank you mummy, for stopping the bed monsters and giving me toys and for telling me stories.'_" John looked briefly towards Alan, held safely by Jeff.

"John, can you read this for me?" Gordon asked quietly just before John moved away from the podium, handing him another piece of paper. Virgil also gave John his message.

"OK." John turned back away from the brothers. "Gordon's message is _'You were always there when I was scared or when I couldn't do something. You supported me when I took up swimming and were so happy when I competed for my school. I hope I can carry on without you.'_ Virgil wished to say this, _'You bought me my first painting set when I was 4. I always loved showing you what I had done to see you smile. I will miss being able to do that mum.'_" John finished and let Scott move forward.

Scott unfolded his note. "I know I wasn't very easy to 'deal' with most of the time, but you always seemed to be patient, and were there to help me when I got into trouble. I'll try not to be as much trouble now. I know we will all miss you being here with us."

John patted Scott on the shoulder as he moved to say his own message. "When this first happened, I didn't know how we would carry on. She has always been there to help us, or to act as peacemaker when things went wrong between us. But now I do know. We have to be there for each other, as she would have wanted us to be. I…" he stopped, overcome by his thoughts. "I remember one of the last things she said to me, on that ski slope…she told me we had to be strong, and to not give in. And we won't. We will try to do as you would have wanted…we will always remember you."

The brothers walked slowly back to their seats, thinking over what everyone had said, and listening to the very last hymn: All Things Bright and Beautiful. Lucille's favourite.

FABFAB

"I'm proud of all of you, my sons. You were very brave today."

"We said what we wanted to tell her, that's all." Scott said quickly.

"And I'm sure she knows that. What do you want to do now?" Jeff asked, changing the subject.

"Can we go swimming dad?" Virgil asked. Gordon immediately perked up and was nodding enthusiastically.

Jeff was surprised by the request "Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

"Yes" Scott answered. "Come on Virgil. Race you upstairs to our room to get our stuff." Scott ran into the hallway, closely followed by Virgil and Gordon.

"You weren't expecting Virgil to ask that?" John asked his father.

"No. I thought you'd want to stay in for a while."

"I do, sort of. But this house, it has so many memories of her. I feel that I want to get away from it for a little while."

"Would it help if you stayed somewhere else for a few weeks or so? Until you are able to 'sort out' how you feel."

"I think so. It might help them get over what happened. Where would we go?"

"I think I will ask a favour of an old friend…" Jeff walked out of the lounge, leaving John puzzled.

FABFAB

"Of course I'll take them Jeff, if you think it will help. We have plenty of room, and Amelia will be glad to have guests."

"Thank you Hugh. I think the change will be good for all of us."

"I hope it will. It is a terrible tragedy to deal with for you. Do the boys know about this yet?"

"Not for sure, but John may have an idea of what I'm thinking."

"Alright. I will see what I can do to arrange flights out here."

"Thank you for doing this…"

"No. You deserve it. I'm only doing what a friend should."

FABFAB

"Dad. Dad, come on. What are you being so secretive about?" Scott whined, trying to get Jeff to tell him. Jeff had accidentally let it slip that he was planning something for them, and Scott had been pestering him about it all morning.

"I'll tell you about it when I'm ready Scott, not before. There are still a lot of details to work out first."

"Fine." Scott said, walking out in a huff. "…But you always say that." He added once he was out of earshot. He was still in a bad mood when he passed John and Alan's room a few minutes later, and he started to ask his brother about it as well.

"John, do you know…?"

"You've already asked me that Scott. I don't know what dad is planning." John said, without looking up from his book. He had thought about writing something else in his diary, but now he was glad he hadn't, as Scott would want to know what he was doing. He didn't think he could share that with his brothers just yet.

"But he's more likely to tell you if you ask him than me."

"Once dad has made his mind up about something, he's not going to tell me either."

"But…"

"Alright." John snapped slightly, closing the book and getting up. "I'll ask him. But only to stop you whining about it."

John walked out, closing the door more forcefully than needed, and didn't see the smile on Scott's face behind him. About a minute later, he was standing in the doorway of Jeff's office, looking at his father sitting in the comfortable leather chair behind the desk.

"Hello John." Jeff said as he looked up from the letter he was reading. When John didn't reply he thought he knew why his eldest son was there. "Did Scott ask you to come and see me?"

"Yes" John said, sitting down. "I told him you weren't any more likely to tell me than him, but I already know a bit of what is going on. They don't."

"Then you haven't told your brothers anything?"

"No, but they need to know soon. When will we be going?"

"That still hasn't been arranged for certain yet, but you're right, I can't keep it a secret for much longer. You can tell Scott that I will tell everyone later today."

"Good."

"I'm surprised you don't want to know yourself John." Jeff said, slightly pleased that everything was going to 'plan'.

"I want the surprise. I'll go and tell the others." John walked out the office door.

Jeff smiled at his eldest and turned back to the letter as John walked back up the stairs. Scott 'ambushed' him halfway up.

"Well? Did he tell you anything?"

"He's going to tell us all later today…when he's ready. Be patient."

"But…"

"No buts. You'll find out later." John walked into his room and shut the door, leaving Scott alone out in the hallway.

FABFAB

"I have made arrangements with your secretary at Tracy Industries and at the airport. The Tracy company jet will be ready when you are."

"You didn't need to do…"

"For the boss of the company Jeff, and considering what you have been through, they were all happy to help."

"I guess being known does have its advantages. How about we come to you on Friday?"

"Alright. We can meet you at the airport."

"No, we'll come to you. Now, I've promised to tell the boys the arrangements today, so I'll see you later in the week."

"Goodbye Jeff." He put the phone down and walked towards the stairs, and met up with Virgil coming out of the kitchen. "Virgil, go get your brothers. I have a little surprise for you."

"Cool!" Virgil exclaimed, putting down the drink he was holding and running up the stairs.

TBC…

A/N – Any ideas as to where the brothers might be going?


	5. Chapter 5 Penelope

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – OH DEAR, ME TRYING TO KEEP BREAKS BETWEEN CHAPTERS SHORT DIDN'T WORK. SORRY!! Right, here is the next chapter. I know that it is shorter than the last one, but the good thing is…I'm updating with two chapters at the same time! I found that by the time I had gotten this chapter the way I liked it, I had practically finished the next one too. I am introducing another few characters in this chapter, so I hope you like it. Enjoy!

Silent Tears

Chapter 5 – Penelope

The following Friday

"This place is very different from home." Scott murmured, looking out the window of the minibus-like taxi that had been waiting to pick them up from the airport.

"It will do you good to be somewhere new." Jeff answered.

"But you will come and see us, won't you dad? I mean, we're a long way from home…"

"Of course I'll come and see you Virgil."

"How long are we going to be here dad? Virgil's birthday is only in a few weeks time."

"You probably will be here then, and I've got an idea as to what to do for your birthday this year Virgil." Jeff said, looking towards his middle son. "I think you'll like it." Virgil smiled happily.

"I think we're here." John said, directing everyone's attention back to the countryside outside the windows.

"I think we're going to have fun here!"

FABFAB

"Sir Hugh, its good to see you again." Jeff said as he walked up to the tall man standing in front of him on the long drive. They had stopped the taxi a little way from the main house to enjoy the summer weather. Standing to Hugh's left stood a woman and a girl, both wearing varying shades of pink.

"You too Jeff. How was your flight over?"

"It was uneventful." Jeff said quickly, glancing slightly at Scott and Gordon who had 'teamed up' on the plane to try to play as many practical jokes as they could come up with on everyone else. Luckily, it had been a _private_ jet. He turned to his sons around him. "Boys, may I introduce my old friend Sir Hugh Creighton-Ward, his wife Amelia and daughter Penelope."

"Hello." John said politely, but was the only one who answered. Scott was looking at Penelope, while both Virgil and Gordon were looking up at the rather imposing figure of Sir Hugh. Alan was looking very tired in Jeff's arms.

"Maybe we should go inside." Sir Hugh said, looking at Alan. "Jeff, can you stay for a while? We can ask Jonson to help unload your luggage."

"I can stay for a few hours."

"Then one of us will give you a lift down to the airport later. Amelia, please take the boys in and show them their rooms. I will follow in a moment." Lady Amelia led everyone else towards the house, while Hugh went to speak to the taxi driver. "If you will please drive round to the side entrance, our butler Jonson will help you unload."

"Yes sir." As Hugh moved towards the main entrance of the large house, following the others, the taxi also moved off.

FABFAB

"This place is incredible. How long have you lived here?" John asked, looking up at the 'house' towering above them.

"The Creighton-Ward Mansion has been owned by Hugh's family for generations, though it is good to have guests. It sometimes seems rather too big for just the 3 of us."

"I can imagine." Scott murmured.

"It is great fun having parties here though." Penelope added, speaking up for the first time. "Very grand…and lots of places to hide."

"Then we'll have to make sure that we play hide and seek at some point then."

"Of course," Amelia said, smiling. "And I will have to do my best to remember all your names."

"Don't worry Amelia." Jeff said as they walked through the main doors. "I doubt they'll let you forget them."

There were a few minutes of silence as the group walked through the hallway and up the main staircase, as the 'newcomers' were gazing around them in awe. This place was _very_ different to home.

"Jeff, this is Alan's room." Amelia said, opening a door on her left and letting Jeff carry Alan in. Apparently all the commotion of their arrival had worn him out.

"John, this is your room…" Amelia started saying, moving towards a door slightly further along on the opposite side of the corridor. Gordon interrupted her.

"We've got our own rooms?!" Gordon exclaimed happily. "Even at home we have to share."

"In a place this big, there is certainly no need to share." Amelia answered, carrying on down the corridor. "The rest of the rooms are this way."

John quickly dropped the rucksack – which, among other things, had his diary safely inside it – he had been carrying on 'his' bed, and, deciding he would look around the room later, hurried back out to follow the others.

FABFAB

"Penelope, please go and get the boys. It is time for dinner." Amelia asked quietly, moving towards the dining room. Penelope walked quickly up the large staircase.

She knocked on the first door. "John, can I come in."

"Hang on a minute" was the muffled reply. A moment later, John opened the door. He had obviously just finished changing, as his shirt was only half buttoned.

"It is time for dinner."

"Right. I'll get Alan and be right down."

"I will tell the others." Penelope said. She smiled at John, then walked down the corridor towards Scott, Virgil and Gordon's rooms.

John shut the door quietly and went to find Alan.

FABFAB

As the brothers had spent most of the day being shown around the 'house', it wasn't until after dinner that John finally got the chance to take a good look around his room. Even there, he found a few surprises – an en-suite bathroom, far more wardrobe space than he ever thought he would get round to using and a small, hidden door, that he couldn't get open or figure out where it led to.

Deciding he wasn't going to be able to solve the mystery, he got out his leather diary once again.

_Our first night staying with Hugh, Amelia and Penelope. It is very different here compared to home…but it is a good different. Being here for a while will help us._

_Dad left a few hours ago. Virgil and Gordon didn't want him to leave. I know how they feel. We aren't used to being on our own like this._

We're not really alone. We may have lost mum, and through her an important part of our family…but we are also gaining new friends. Like a family that we never knew we had. I think the next few weeks are going to be very interesting…

TBC…

A/N – At this point in the story, Penelope is 11, and her birthday was 24th December 1988.

A/N 2 – I know that some of the 'times' in this story may not really work, as Jeff and the boys are now on opposite sides of the world, but please try to ignore the fact as I know this story is not entirely accurate. I will do my best to work around the time differences.


	6. Chapter 6 Games

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – Another chapter, and no long wait this time either (don't get too used to it though. I'm not a very consistent writer)! Quite a lot of this story is now going to be told through short scenes and diary entries / letters written by different characters. I am doing this as I want to concentrate more on the characters' reactions and opinions to things, rather that the events themselves.

If you have any ideas to help me with this, please tell me and I will think about using them. Any ideas generally for the story will also be very welcome. Hope you like.

Silent Tears 

Chapter 6 – Games

"Did you sleep well?" Penelope asked as John, Virgil and Alan came down for breakfast. Alan had woken up very early and decided to try to wake up his brothers, so both John and Virgil looked half-asleep and rather jet-lagged. Not everyone had slept through the whole plane journey the day before.

"Fine, until Alan started jumping on the bed to wake me up." John said, running a hand through his hair. Virgil tried to hide a yawn

"Are Scott and Gordon up?"

"Probably not. We managed to stop Alan before he got to their rooms." Virgil said. "What are you doing up so early anyway?" he asked, noticing that Penelope was already fully dressed in a knee-length, rose pink dress.

"I'm used to it, I guess." Penelope said quickly "Breakfast is ready, Scott and Gordon can have some later."

FABFAB

"Ninety-seven…ninety-eight…ninety-nine…one hundred!" Penelope finished counting as she sat on one of the high backed chairs in the dining room, before getting up. It was put to a vote, and finally decided that they should play hide-and-seek. As Penelope knew the house a lot better than the brothers did, she would count first. "Ready or not, here I come!"

After over 5 minutes, Penelope's search of the ground floor had turned up no one. Sir Hugh had asked not to be disturbed, so they wouldn't be in his office…all of the brothers must have gone upstairs.

Scott was the first to be found. He had hidden in one of the cupboards near his room, behind a rack of towels. "Let's go find the others."

After another couple of minutes, the two of them found Alan underneath the bedcovers that he had thrown off his bed that morning.

"Right, that's 2 down, 3 to go." Scott said, walking back out the room.

"I'm pretty sure that there is no-one downstairs, so they are probably up here."

As the 'searchers' didn't find anyone in the next few minutes either, it was looking likely that John, Virgil and Gordon had hidden in one of the other wings of the mansion. Penelope and Alan were just leaving one of the spare rooms for the second time, while Scott looked in the room opposite, when Alan saw a white trainer from behind the thick curtains, and found John hiding.

"OK Alan, you've found me." John said jokingly as Alan tried to pull John out of the room.

"Me found John!" Alan cried happily.

"Who have you still got to find?" John asked quickly

"Virgil and Gordon."

In the next 10 minutes, none of them were able to find either Virgil or Gordon, and they were about to give up and let them win when Gordon was finally spotted, hidden behind one of the large ornate sideboards in the downstairs hallway. Now, hopefully, they would be able to find Virgil as well.

"Maybe we should look down here again. I might have missed him the first time." Penelope said, walking back into the dining room where she had started.

It wasn't until all the searchers had finally given up and announced that Virgil had won that he came out of his hiding place. He had crept under the protective cover that was on top of the grand piano in the music room. As the cover reached down to the floor, he had been completely hidden under the instrument.

"We should have known that you would hide by the piano Virgil!"

FABFAB

The next morning, at the headquarters of Tracy Industries

Jeff Tracy walks into his office, rather surprising his secretary who had come in to sort out some files.

"Mr Tracy…we weren't expecting you to come in for another few weeks at least."

"I know Kirsty, but I feel that I have to be doing something other than sitting at home all day."

"I guess I can understand that. Anything I can get you?"

"A cup of coffee would be good."

"Coming right up."

She leaves, and returns a few minutes later with two cups of hot coffee. She turns to go, but is called back.

"Kirsty, sit down for a few minutes. How have things been going around here?"

"Pretty well, but it has been a bit hectic without us being able to contact you some of the time." She hesitates for a moment. "No offence, but I still think you should be taking it easy for a while."

"That's what everyone's been saying recently. Not that I don't appreciate the concern, but I'm not the sort of person to stay still for long. Anyway, I am getting a bit of a break. The boys are staying with a friend for the next few weeks, as you helped to arrange." Jeff smiled at the lady gratefully.

"It was no problem. How are your sons taking all this? It must be hard on them."

"John and Scott, the eldest, are taking it pretty well, though they may just be hiding it to try to make an example for the others. Alan's too young to really know what's going on. Virgil and Gordon seem to have been hit the hardest."

"I'm sure that if they're anything like their father, they'll get through this. And don't try to do this all on your own either Mr Tracy. There are a lot of people here who want to help you"

"I know. Thanks Kirsty."

"I'd better get back. There's bound to be something going wrong in this place."

FABFAB

_Dear Rebecca_

_I have been meaning to write to you for some time, but I have been rather busy, and I'm sure you have been too with all the fuss of moving house. Do you like your new house? When you are settled, I want to know all about it._

_Life has been hectic recently. Father was asked to do two official openings in London – a sports centre and a house for homeless children – and we had to go with him as 'representatives'. I know why we have to do them, but they are still rather boring._

_And then, of course, we are having guests for at least the next few weeks. The Tracy brothers – John, Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Alan, are staying with us to give them a break from being at home after the death of their mother. As Jeff Tracy is a friend of father's, he offered that they stay at the mansion. It certainly seems very unusual to have so many boys around all the time._

_They have only been with us a couple of days, but I am beginning to see that they are all very different from each other. Scott is loud and confident, and likes to be the centre of attention. He is getting slightly annoying as he keeps following me around…I'm still not really sure why. Virgil is very artistic. He showed me the sketchbook he had brought with him, and the drawing of the mansion he drew yesterday was incredible. Gordon seems to be a bit of a joker. I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps trying to dunk his brothers when we go swimming tomorrow, especially as John said he is a very good swimmer. John is far more independent than the others. He doesn't mind doing things on his own like reading a book while his brothers do something else. The youngest, Alan, is only four, and I can't really tell what he is like, though he seems to enjoy annoying everyone. I'm sure that when he is older, he, Scott and Gordon will have a lot of fun playing tricks on their quieter brothers…and it is certainly going to be very interesting to see what happens._

_What is going on where you are? I'm sure you're making lots of new friends, and I will always be here if you want someone to talk to. I know I will miss you when we go back to school._

_Write back when you can._

_ Your good friend, Penelope._

Penelope put down her pen and read back through what she had written. She was just putting it in the envelope when the door opened and John walked into the library.

"Hello" he said, walking over. "I just came in to put this back." He held up the book in his hand.

"I was writing a letter to a friend from school. She moved house a couple of weeks ago, but I want to stay in touch."

"You should." John answered, putting the book back in one of the many shelves against the walls before coming to sit next to Penelope at the writing desk.

"What are the others doing? I think I heard them come in from outside earlier."

"They were asking your parents if they could play a board game. Monopoly, I think."

"Then I'm playing too. That game is always more fun with more players."

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7 Fall

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – Sorry for yet another huge gap between chapters, I really do need to get into the habit of sitting down with my laptop and forcing myself to write more. Now that exams are all over, I _should_ have more time to write.

Right, on with the story. I realise that not a massive amount has happened so far, but that hopefully is going to change. I have a long list of ideas to try to include in this story, and I have only covered one of them at the moment. Still, let me know if you have any too.

Also, some of the earlier chapters have now been updated slightly since I re-read the whole thing and thought of some extra things I could add in, including chapter titles. I don't think anything big has changed, but feel free to read those chapters again.

Here you go…the next instalment.

Silent Tears 

Chapter 7 – Fall

"Come on Virgil, are you ready yet?" Scott called from the doorway to Virgil's room. The Creighton-Wards and Tracys had been planning to leave the mansion almost 10 minutes before. Gordon had gone downstairs ahead of his brothers, while Scott tried to hurry Virgil up.

"I'm sorry Scott, I can't find my other shoe. I know I put them in the bottom of the wardrobe yesterday." There was a short pause. "Hang on…found it!"

"Good. I'll be with the others downstairs." Between Scott waking up late and missing breakfast again and Virgil losing things, they were definitely late.

FABFAB

Jeff sat down and turned on his computer, not really looking what he was doing. Very soon, a 'you have e-mail' message appeared.

_To Dad_

_I know it's only been a few days since you left, but I thought I'd write and make sure you weren't too worried about us (which I know you will be anyway). I was going to send this as a letter, and Lady Amelia said I could use letter paper with their family crest on as well, but I know e-mail will be quicker._

_Anyway, what's been going on around here? Well, Sir Hugh and Lady Amelia have been really nice to us, as you said they would be. The Creighton-Ward Mansion is incredible, and I'm sure it will take me a good few more days to finish exploring all of it. I haven't seen much of Scott while we've been here, which is a bit of a surprise when you think about it. When I have seen him, he tends to be around Penelope, and he seemed very happy that he was sitting next to her at dinner (something to do with 'order of precedence' around the table – I didn't entirely understand it). Secretly, I think he has a bit of a crush on her. Mealtimes are still rather quiet, as no one seems to be able to think of anything to say. I'm sure it will get better._

_We've been on a couple of outings, which are a bit of a performance as there are 9 of us, including their butler Jonson, who drives the second car. Yesterday we went to visit this beautiful cathedral. I think the others were a bit bored, but there was an incredible view from the top and I got some good photos. I'll show them to you when I next see you. Afterwards, we went to a huge swimming pool with lots of water slides, which seemed to cheer Gordon and Alan up. Penelope challenged us all to a race, but I'm sure everyone knew Gordon would win, as he won by miles. I'm glad he had fun, as he seems to be a bit scared of Sir Hugh, and always sticks near Scott or me when he's around._

_As for Virgil, I'm sure he'll find something to do here, other than drawing in his sketchbook all the time. He's been admiring some of the paintings on the walls, and when we were playing hide-and-seek a couple of days ago he hid under the grand piano…we didn't think to look there, so he won. He's probably going to ask me to ask Sir Hugh if he can have a go playing on it soon. I know he wants to. Alan has been with Lady Amelia for most of the time, and it looks like Penelope is enjoying having a younger child to fuss over. I'm not sure how much Alan likes it though._

_Lastly, I've been spending most of the time with Jonson, the butler. He knows loads about the history of the house and family and everything. I found a strange door when I was looking around my room earlier, so after I finish exploring the house I think I will ask him about it._

_Don't work yourself too hard, Dad, even though I know you will. Mum wouldn't have wanted you to do that._

_Love John._

_P.S – Can I come with you to the office some time? I really want to visit and get a look around._

Jeff smiled, thinking about his sons. He hoped that their time with the Creighton-Wards would help them work out what they were thinking and feeling. _I just wish I could sort out my feelings as well_, Jeff thought silently.

Jeff reached into the top drawer in his desk and pulled out a plastic folder. Inside was a stack of photographs…print outs from the digital camera that Jeff had taken to Switzerland with him. They were the last things he had of Lucille now. _You really were the heart of this family. I hope I can bring the boys up as you would have wanted…_

FABFAB

John closed the door to his room as quietly as possible and walked silently along the hallway. His brothers were all downstairs somewhere as they had time before dinner, but John felt he needed to be alone with his thoughts for a while.

And he had just the place to go.

Creeping up another, smaller set of stairs and around a corner, John came to very sturdy-looking wooden door. He had found this door while exploring around the house, and he had a good idea as to where it led. He pulled the handle slowly, trying to hide the squeak, and was met by a narrow wooden staircase. At the top was a very heavy door. He pulled the door closed behind him so it was only open very slightly and climbed the stairs.

John took in a deep breath and looked behind him. He had a feeling that Sir Hugh wouldn't be too happy with him if he came up here without telling anyone. _They will understand…I hope._ John thought to himself, and pulled open the door that led onto the roof of the mansion.

It was slightly cold, and the stars were just beginning to come out above him, but John didn't mind. He closed the outer door and found somewhere to sit to look at the stars.

A few minutes later, John unlocked the red leather book he was carrying with the key he now had on a chain round his neck and started writing.

_This is so hard. How can I keep reassuring my brothers everything will be all right when I don't know myself? I wish mum were here. She always knew exactly what to say to help us when it was hard to go on._

_I came up here to see the stars. I always seem to feel better when I can see them. Maybe…when I look at them, mum is looking back down at me too._

FABFAB

Penelope was walking along one of the corridors from her room when she noticed something that caught her attention. _Strange, I thought we always kept that door shut_, she thought as she went to close the door. _Unless…_ Changing her mind, Penelope quietly pushed open the wooden door and climbed up.

When she got up onto the roof, it seemed clear that she was intruding in something private. John was half-leaning, half-lying against the raised edge behind him, gazing up at the stars and tightly holding a leather book against his chest. Doing her best not to disturb the person in front of her, she turned back to the door leading to the main house.

"You don't have to go." John said quietly, still looking up at the sky.

"I didn't mean to intrude…"

"You're not." John sat up properly and gestured for her to sit down next to him. "I only came up here to see the stars. Did you come looking for me?" John asked, wondering why she had come up to the roof.

"The door was ajar, and we usually keep it shut to stop draughts." Penelope 'explained' as she sat down.

After a few minutes of stargazing, Penelope broke the silence again. "What do you see when you look up there?"

John looked thoughtful "I see the past…and the future. A never-ending cycle. What do you see?"

"I see us being a part of something much bigger, and that it doesn't matter if we are afraid. There will always be something there to help us through it, and we need to believe in ourselves." Penelope smiled up at the stars before carrying on. "When I was much younger, my grandfather used to tell me little sayings – 'whether you believe you can do something, or whether you believe you can't, you're always right'."

John looked at Penelope directly for the first time. She could see the faint trace of tears on his face, and that he looked very sad and lost.

"I think Mum would have said something like that too." John said, gazing absently at the diary in his hands. "I feel so empty without her."

"I'm sure that, somewhere, she is watching you and your brothers, helping you through everything. When she sees you crying, she knows you are thinking about her too."

John smiled, and turned back to the stars, hoping that Lucille really could see him. He thought about everything that had happened to his family recently, and how it seemed the Creighton-Wards were becoming like family too. As he stood up, he turned to Penelope.

"Thank you."

Penelope just nodded as she stood too, knowing that John had a lot to think about and she was trying to help. "You're welcome John."

FABFAB

"Virgil. Can you wait a moment?" Lady Amelia called just as Virgil was about to disappear up the stairs. The brothers had been playing around outside when Gordon had tied Scott's shoelaces to one of the low metal railings in the garden without him noticing and tripped him up. It had been very funny watching Scott trying to untie the knots so he could chase after his little brother. Virgil had thought it would make a good cartoon picture, as long as Scott didn't see it.

"OK." Virgil stopped in the hallway

"There is a fair in one of the local towns tomorrow and I was wondering if you would like to go."

"Yes please! Do the others know?"

"Not yet. You can ask them."

"They'll want to go. Scott loves fair rides."

FABFAB

"Come on Gordon, lets see if we can find somewhere to get a drink." Scott said as they walked around the crowded fairground. The group had arrived about mid-morning and were going to meet up again at 1 o'clock for lunch. Luckily, they had managed to avoid the rain that had been quite heavy earlier on in the day.

"OK Scott, but then can we go over to the park before we head back? We've already been on most of the rides." Gordon asked yet again. Although he had been following his older brother around all morning, he didn't really enjoy the rides as much as Scott did.

Eventually, the pair did find a refreshments stand, and bought their drinks before heading away to the park on the other side of the empty tennis courts. The fair had been set up in the grounds of a sports centre.

"Look Gordon, we've got it all to ourselves. Race you to the top of the climbing frame!" Scott said, before running off towards the mass of brightly coloured metal bars on the other side of the park.

"Hey, not fair! Scott, wait for me." Gordon quickly followed him. By the time he reached the bottom of the climbing frame, Scott was already nearly at the top.

Scott could hear his brother starting to climb up. Even though the climbing equipment was only a few metres off the ground at the top, Scott knew Gordon would never catch up with him. He turned around to tell his brother that when his foot slipped on the slightly damp bar and he lost his balance. He tried desperately to keep hold of the bars, but the next bar was too far up for him to reach from his precarious, off-balance position and, as he fell with a surprised cry, he hit his right arm on another of the bars. He landed on the wood-chipping ground with a thud.

"SCOTT!"

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8 Hospital

Silent Tears

By Puzzler

Disclaimer – Thunderbirds is owned by Gerry Anderson and Working Title Films. I'm only borrowing them for fun.

Summary – After the death of their mother, the lives of the Tracy brothers change dramatically. How did they get through this traumatic time, and become the family of heroes we now know? Slightly AU.

A/N – OK, it takes me months to write one chapter of this story, and now I manage two within a few weeks of each other. I'm afraid it will be the exception rather than the rule though, as I know what I want to put in the next few chapters, but have no idea _how_ to write them. I'll try to finish as quickly as possible.

Here's the next part!

Silent Tears

Chapter 8 – Hospital

"SCOTT!" Gordon cried, seeing his brother fall from the top of the climbing frame. In an instant, he was by his side. "Scott, are you alright?"

Scott could hear the fear in Gordon's voice as he slowly tried to sit up. His right arm screamed at him when he tried to move it, and there were bruises on his hands from how he had landed. _That'll teach me for not paying attention to what I'm doing_, he thought sarcastically. "I think I'm OK Gordon." He said, seeing the tears in his brother's eyes.

"Scott, I was so scared…I saw you fall from the top…" Gordon continued crying, wrapping his arms around Scott, not noticing his arm.

"OW! Careful Gordon!"

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry, Scott." Gordon said, pulling quickly away, still crying.

"No, not your fault Gordon. I think there's something wrong with my arm." He looked down at it quickly. Seeing the odd angle it lay at, it was probably broken. "Gordon, look at me." He waited for his brother to look up. "I need you to do something for me Gordon. I need you to go and get John. We saw him sitting by the refreshments stand, remember, eating an ice cream. I need you to go and bring him here. Can you do that?"

Gordon nodded quickly, getting to his feet and running back towards the main part of the fair as quickly as he could.

FABFAB

The next half-hour was a blur to the brothers. Gordon had run back to where they had seen John, and then the older Tracy had contacted the one of the fair officials to notify Sir Hugh and the others of what had happened. Twenty minutes later, Lady Amelia, John and Gordon were sitting in the back of an ambulance with Scott going to the nearest hospital. The others were following in the car.

"I can ring if you want me to John." Lady Amelia offered once they got to the hospital, seeing the tears running down John's face. Luckily, the hospital wasn't very busy so Scott could be taken into x-ray almost immediately after arriving.

"No, I will. He'd want to hear it from me."

"OK, but we're in the next room if you need us."

FABFAB

"Hello, Jeff Tracy's office." Kirsty said automatically into the phone, still typing at her computer.

"I need to speak to him immediately."

"I'm afraid that he's in a meeting at the moment. Who am I talking to please?"

"John Tracy, his son. It's really important."

Kirsty noticed the slightly desperate edge in John's voice and stopped what she was doing. "What has happened?"

"Scott, my brother, he's had an accident. We think he's broken his arm. He needs to come back."

"I will get a message to him right away. Can he call you back on this number?"

"I'll be here."

As soon as John rang off, Kirsty dialled the conference room. "Hello, this is Kirsty Tyler. I need to speak with Jeff Tracy." Pause. "Yes, I know he's in a meeting, but I've just had one of his sons on the phone. It's very important."

A few minutes later, Jeff got to the phone. "Kirsty, what is it?"

"Your son John just called. Apparently there has been an accident. Scott has been injured, a broken arm. He asked you to ring him back immediately."

"Of course I will. I'll be right down."

FABFAB

John walked back into his room, having forced himself to have something to eat before turning in. He had not been hungry. He had been too worried about Scott to eat anything. _At least Gordon has finally gone to sleep_, John thought about his younger brother and how scared Gordon had been when he had come to find John at the fair. Gordon had then refused to leave Scott's side since he had fallen, almost 8 hours before. John pulled the small golden key out from underneath his shirt, thoughtful. He had been writing down things in his diary practically every day now, but he had tried to never let anyone see him do it. Penelope hadn't said anything to the others out of privacy, though he was sure she knew what he had been holding on the roof. _Good thing too._ This was one thing that he didn't think he could share just yet.

_I don't think I can do this anymore. Scott's accident…Virgil and especially Gordon were looking to me to help them, as they don't really know Hugh and Amelia very well. Gordon was so scared, so…lost. I think I know how he felt, seeing Scott fall like that…like I felt with mum._

_But I'm not dad. He and Scott are the strong ones who can take charge, not me. I feel so lost too. I don't know what to do._

FABFAB

"OK, show us what you can do Virgil." Scott said, leaning against the wall. Virgil was sitting at the grand piano, looking very happy. It wasn't until almost a week after Scott's accident that Virgil had finally asked to have a go on it.

"What shall I play?"

"Anything. Choose something you like." After a few seconds, Virgil started on 'The Entertainer'

"Very good Virgil." Amelia said after he had finished "I hope you will play something for us at your birthday party next week."

"Can I?" Virgil asked excitedly

"Of course. I'm glad to see someone enjoying it." Sir Hugh said, smiling.

"Next week, is that all it is?" Gordon muttered quietly "Time seems to have gone very quickly."

FABFAB

"Hi Dad."

"Oh, hi John. Nothing wrong is there?"

"No, no, though Scott is still grumbling about how long he has to wear the cast. I only rang as Virgil asked me to check that you would be here for his birthday party next Tuesday. He was playing the piano for several hours yesterday, perfecting a piece he wants to play for us."

"Of course I will be there John, and I look forward to hearing him play again. You can tell him that I've got a big surprise waiting for him."

"He'll be glad to hear that. Speaking of bringing things, can you bring those holiday photos you mentioned? They're the last pictures we have of mum…"

"I was planning to anyway. I printed out another copy so you boys could have them."

"Thanks. I'll make sure Virgil knows you're coming."

"Why did Virgil get you to ring anyway? Why not ring himself?"

"He is still rather shy at the moment, more than usual, and it seems that Gordon's not the only one who's afraid of Sir Hugh."

TBC…


End file.
